Aberystwyth

Exhaustion

The first term is over. It's perhaps been one of the most difficult periods of my lifetime. My autumn wasn’t really the way I wanted, to say at least. But hey, it can always be worse, right? I struggled to fall asleep, missed a lot of classes, doubted everything, and alternated between wanting to give up and pushing myself to continue. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically worn out by December. I needed space to breathe, and for some reason, Aberystwyth was randomly stuck in my mind. Every time I felt heavy, I felt like going to Aberystwyth. I don't really know why. Two years ago, I was browsing Google Maps, looking for the closest seaside towns from Coventry, and I randomly stumbled upon Aber. Well, this town became a milestone in my mental reset. I found my peace here – on the Welsh coast, alone for a weekend, watching the sea.

There's something about the water that pulls things out of you. The repetition, maybe. The way waves just keep coming regardless of what you're carrying. They make you feel heard and present. Or maybe I’m just overthinking water. Probably that. I took my Fujifilm X-T5 for this trip, though I couldn’t be bothered to take pictures in December. I just wanted to see what I'd notice when I slowed down enough to look. Apparently, the world is still beautiful even when it's not trying to be. I want to share bits of my trip and emotional escape. These photos are the moments I felt worth stopping for a while, have a thought or feel something (maybe both), and click a shot to have that moment remembered. I found most of the photos dull and boring. But my friends thought otherwise, and I was moved to share what I saw and what I remember.

Day 1

I've just arrived. The local Wetherspoons seemed to occupy half of the rail station. It's the UK, after all. When I was about to take a photo of the rail station from across the road, I spotted Welsh farmland Santa on a quirky blue tractor. I felt like I got greeted by the town.

The streets were very quiet. There was barely anyone in the town. You could occasionally see someone walking out their dog in front of the colourful Victorian and Edwardian terraced houses. Halfway through the day, I stumbled into a protest. Sudan and Palestine seemed like huge causes against the backdrop of this small Welsh town. These people cared enough to stand in the cold and hold signs.

I spent the rest of the day on the coast. Walking, watching waves, climbing the hill at sunset. All that moving without destination helped to clear my head by making me focus on nothing but where to put my feet.

Day 2

I heard knocks on the door of my guesthouse room. I replied "one moment" to figure out what's even going on while being incredibly sleepy, and the only thing I heard back was "Are you checking out?" to which I said yes. I got my phone, checked the time, and it was 11:00 – I slept 14 hours straight.

On the way to the English breakfast cafe, or as it's been written "Monster breakfast" on the menu to avoid using "English", I got properly woken up by the blast of stormy wind. The weather was brutal. I wasn’t really sure why I was even outside.

I wandered through the castle ruins mostly because it seemed like the thing to do. Didn't really think about the history or take it seriously as a tourist site. Just walked around stone walls while the wind howled (and it howled a lot).

Then I headed south to the hills. No particular reason, just kept walking. I saw sheep. They look so much different from those in Uzbekistan. I went up the hill, enjoyed the sunset while barely able to sit down as the wind got fierce. On the way down, I wanted to walk along the river and see a bigger herd of sheep, but I made a wrong turn and ended up in some sort of construction site, where I then dipped my shoes in a puddle of mud. I was pissed, but I was also rushing as the place seemed very eerie and turned back. By the time I reached the right path, it started to get dark. That path at dusk was unsettling. Every person I saw felt like a potential threat, although Aberystwyth is a very safe little town. Maybe that’s what happens when you live next to Coventry for too long.

By evening, I was back on the promenade, watching the town lights come on. One more walk along the coast before catching the train back.

The Shift

The trip is over. The ugly truth I found out is that the world keeps moving whether you're keeping up or not. The waves keep coming regardless.

I left Aberystwyth on Sunday evening. In 4 hours I was back at Warwick, back to the same room and the same weight I'd been carrying. But I didn't feel the same. I felt better and so much freer than before. I had a proof that I could feel peaceful, even for two days. That I can stop, breathe, and the world doesn't collapse.

I'll probably need to go back.

Diolch i Aberystwyth a'i phobl hyfryd